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The Funeral Procession

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby
cemetery.
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A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.
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Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
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Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
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The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man
walking the dog and said, 'I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be
a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this.
Whose funeral is it?'
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'My wife's.
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''What happened to her?'
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The man replied, 'My dog attacked and killed her'
~
He inquired...

JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program..
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, you can have me.'
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up..
The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.
He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock...

Several days ago as a lady left a meeting at a hotel; she desperately gave herself a personal TSA pat down. She was looking for her keys. They were not in her pockets.

A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly she realized she must have left them in the car.



Frantically, she headed for the parking lot. Her husband had scolded her many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. Her theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. His theory is that the car will be stolen. As she burst through the door, she came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right.

The parking lot was empty. She immediately called the police. She gave them her location, confessed that she had left her keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.



Then she...

Today the traveling Vietnam Wall was moved from the Lincoln national cemetery to the Skyline national cemetery on the west hills of Portland. Steve and I did the ride this morning and didn't count the bikes but well over a thousand or more showed up this morning. Was a wet start to the day and then turned into fog on the west hills. We were all able to sign the register as this will be the last time the Wall is here in Portland. On my way up the long hill to the cemetery a women at a bus stop flagged me over. She was in a wheel chair and asked me if I would take a rosé that she had purchased for the wall and asked me and place it by the wall. I told her I would and thanked her for her thought.
We had a ceremony before departing following the truck taking the wall. We followed the...

Drove up to the Polling place for my district, it's a country club
normally at elections we see half the parking lot with cars, never a line outside.

Check it out, the parking lot is full and cars are coming and going.

The best part? A nitwit lady in a yellow ford escape with an American flag mounted on the window like those football flags people fly above the car
and a big Zero Sticker on the tailgate turned around and didn't enter the parking lot, I guess it's "too busy" for her to bother...

Video taken from my Ford F150.

[YOUTUBE]RUxorfUfla0[/YOUTUBE]